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Discover .Your .Mind New .Ideas .in .Psychology .and .Idealism

The Inferiority Complex

and

The need for Social Approval

The two basic needs that a child has to master, if possible, are the inferiority complex and the need for social approval. The child cannot separate them (nor can many adults), and so these two needs often react on each other. The two needs exist because the child is both an individual and a social person.

The idea of the inferiority complex was put forward by Alfred Adler in the early 20th century. Ideas about the hidden aspects of the mind were in their infancy. What Adler appears to have done was to mix the two needs together - he only recognised the existence of one need. What I have done is to improve on Adler's idea by separating the two needs. In my understanding, the inferiority complex refers to the need to be an individual.

The idea of a distinct social need came later, with R D Laing's concept of 'confirmation'. 'Confirmation' is too abstract a concept for popular use. I prefer to use the concept of 'social approval'.

If a person is subject to humiliation from another person and made to feel inferior, the person thinks that it is the inferiority complex that is aroused in him. This is not always the case. More often, it is the need for social approval that has been activated.

The child may focus on his individuality. He may desire to attain something that he likes and is willing to put in the necessary effort long-term. If this desire is over-emphasised, he is likely to lose friends and become a loner. On the other hand, if he desires friends, he will put friendship and social attainments above personal attainments. He is likely to become a very sociable person. If this desire is over-emphasised, his individuality becomes eclipsed.

Now if circumstances frustrate his ability to attain his dreams, and he compares himself unfavourably to other people who have succeeded, then he will develop an inferiority complex. And if his attempts to be sociable are frustrated, he will develop the need for social approval.

At school these needs inter-twine. If he is bottom of the class in some subject that he likes, his inferiority complex will spur him to better himself. If he is bottom of the class in some subject that he does not like, he will not develop an inferiority complex (for that subject). Instead, he is likely to focus on his need for social approval by getting a name for himself, even if it is only as a trouble-maker.

If he does not have many friends, but has a close friendship with one or two others, he does not intensify his need for social approval. But if he does not have friends, then he does intensify his need for social approval. Since he does not have friends, he lacks social skills and feels awkward in the presence of his peers. It becomes difficult to make friends with the opposite sex. He becomes very lonely.

There are two tests for separating one need from the other.

First.
To understand the basic difference between the two needs, it will help if you can understand the difference between two terms : loneliness and aloneness. A person who focuses on individuality will at sometime feel aloneness ; at this moment he is a loner. Whilst a person who focuses on social approval will sometimes feel loneliness.

Second.
Your views about yourself can belittle you, and the criticisms of other people can also belittle you. This can make you dislike someone. The decisive test for separating the two needs is what person is your dislike directed to. Who do you dislike ?

If you dislike yourself, then this implies the inferiority complex is dominant at that moment.

If you dislike the other person, then the need for social approval is uppermost at that moment (if it were not uppermost, then what that person said to us would not bother us).

These two needs can inter-twine. So sometimes you can dislike yourself, and at other times you can dislike other people.

Some children try to get round their problems with sociability by becoming brilliant at some particular subject in order to attract friends. But they fail in this. What they discover is that becoming brilliant in something (that is, being motivated by the inferiority complex) does not enable them to develop social skills. So overcoming the inferiority complex will not enable the child to get friends. The child gets friends by overcoming his need for social approval.

The inferiority complex is most problematic for youths, which is the prime time of narcissism. Most people don't know what narcissism means, but this does not stop them from experiencing it. Everytime you go to a party, feel excited, dance and have a good time, you are in a mood of narcissism. So the teenage years and early 20s are the prime years of narcissistic experience for everyone, and the prime years of bearing the burden of inferiority.

Ian Heath
London, UK

www.discover-your-mind.co.uk/

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