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Discover .Your .Mind New .Ideas .in .Psychology .and .Idealism

How do I know

if I need Help ?

It is not always easy to know if one needs help. It's even more difficult to know what kind of help is needed.

The best procedure is to talk to someone, someone who listens, who does not make judgements about you, and who can occasionally direct the talking. When we begin to talk, we begin with our most pressing issues – but these are not the most important for us. They camouflage our deeper needs. After much talking, which may take hours or days, our deeper needs begin to emerge. We may be quite surprised by what they are.

Once our needs come out into the open, then we can begin to identify the right help that we need.

As a start to identifying our needs, we can analyse our daydreams and wishes. What would we be able to do if a daydream came true? . What part of ourself do we want to express?

The person that you talk to must be someone who does not know you. If you talk to someone that you know, then you will not talk about anything that embarrasses you. And then your deepest needs will not come into the open. These needs represent the immature and childlike parts of our personality, those parts of ourself that have not been allowed to grow up naturally. Therefore, to allow these parts to mature, they have to be expressed in a situation where they are not criticised.

The person that you need is someone who is not going to give you any advice (at least initially). What is the point of someone giving you advice if you do not know your needs? However, once you know your needs, then if you wish you can seek advice.

The best person is a psychologist who practises counselling. Such professionals are trained to be non-judgemental. Once you know your needs, then you can either stay with the counsellor or choose a more specific therapist.

Some form of cognitive therapy is a good starting point if you have definite and specific problems that you want to explore. However, for some people their problems are indefinite and vague ; their life lacks meaning and nothing is going right. They are experiencing a lot of distress, but cannot handle it effectively since they do not know what the actual problems are. In this situation, psycho-analysis is the therapy of choice – the more intense that your distress is, the more effective psycho-analytic therapy is likely to be.

Or perhaps joining a group will be a good start (or even start your own group).

Keep in mind that once you begin talking to someone and exploring yourself, your moods will go up and down regularly (the sequences of abreaction).

Ian Heath
London, UK

www.discover-your-mind.co.uk/

e-mail address:
ian.heath<at>discover-your-mind.co.uk

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