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Psycho - Analysing
Childhood . Problems
When we begin to psycho-analyse ourselves, it can produce some peculiar effects. Childhood always creates problems. Some of these problems are resolved as the child grows up, but some remain and are pushed into the subconscious mind. Unresolved problems never disappear by themselves - time does not heal difficulties because there is no sense of time in the subconscious mind.
An effect of analysis is that these childhood problems that have never been resolved start coming up into normal consciousness. Then it may feel as if we are going through a second childhood. After the first year of my own analysis I was coming to terms with new feelings of rebelliousness, being self-centred, and more interested in sexuality than I ever was as a teenager. So a peculiar effect of analysis is that we may begin to act childishly in some situations, the situations that were difficult for us as a child.
A major
aspect of analysis
that we have to sort out is our sense of identity - what is me
and what is other people. Once we begin examining ourselves, we
will experience catharsis many, many times. And catharsis usually
highlights sexual issues in an unconventional way. Part of our
sense of identity is our sense of sexual identity. So analysis
makes us question our sexual values. This aspect of analysis
needs to be taken very slowly, so that we remain in control
whilst exploring new feelings. It might be helpful for a person
to join a single-sex group so that he or she can discuss their
sexual feelings in comfort.
( If we talk about our unusual sexual thoughts with our friends,
we may alienate them from us, or more likely, their repudiation
or dismissal of our thoughts may prevent us from further
exploration).
Another major aspect of analysis is our attitudes to authority. This is also a difficult problem. When we were a child, if we had to put others first to the extent that we denied our own interests, then this created anger or resentment or guilt. However, the child cannot express these negative emotions, so they are repressed. Once we begin analysing ourselves, these emotions will become conscious. Then we have to work through our dislike, even hatred, of authority (and even a powerful sense of guilt that authority figures may have instilled in us).
Analysis can generate a sense of bewilderment - "where did all these negative thoughts come from?"
One of the reasons why we are confused about our sense of identity is that basically we are a peaceful, gentle person. So we get upset when all these negative emotions start appearing. When my analysis started bringing hatred into my daily thoughts, I was profoundly shocked, and it took me many months to adjust to this unpleasant side of myself.
The theme to keep in mind is that all bad emotions can be useful. If all your attitudes, beliefs, emotions were good ones, then you would be a very stable person. You would not change, and so would not keep up with the changes in society. Bad attitudes, beliefs, emotions are your incentive to change, because you want to get rid of them. Therefore you have to change those aspects of yourself that produce them.
Take change slowly, and it will bring into your awareness and understanding aspects of reality that you would never have experienced if childhood had been better. Just think of self-examination as an odyssey of personal growth, as a journey of discovery, from confusion to clarity.
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Ian Heath
London, UKwww.discover-your-mind.co.uk/
e-mail address:
ian.heath<at>discover-your-mind.co.ukIf you want to contact me, use the address above but replace the
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