Sexual Obsessions

	Obsessions and Compulsions This article represents my ideas on the creation of sexual obsessions. First of all, we need to be clear about the primary difference between obsessions and compulsions. An obsession is not the same as a compulsion. Compulsions are forms of deterministic behaviour (the ways that the person acts in situations that he cannot cope with). These kinds of behaviour have their main origin in guilt and anxiety. Obsessions have their main origin in fear and jealousy.
Sub-headings
Overview of Imprinting
Outline View
Detailed View
Summary of Emotional Dynamics
References

Dynamic psychology is the kind of psychology that explores the dynamics of the subjective factors of personality and the subconscious mind. The basic theme within dynamic psychology that applies to obsessions is the relation between fear and excitement. Fear is normally the opposite emotion to anger, but at a deeper level, fear is the opposite emotion to excitement. [¹]. These function like a see-saw (when one is conscious, the other one is usually subconscious).

This means that when fear is uppermost in our mind (we know that something is scaring us), then excitement about that same something is usually uppermost in the subconscious mind. When excitement is uppermost in our mind, fear about the same thing is usually uppermost in our subconscious mind. Quite often, when any particular issue scares us, a common stratagem is to switch to excitement as the way to overcome (at least temporarily) the fear.

We are not usually aware that what excites us also can easily scare us too. This relationship becomes visible during psycho-therapy.

For example, suppose a difficulty in our relationship with a significant other person causes us fear. If we then analyse our difficulty in a suitable way, as in counselling or psycho-analysis, our intuition starts functioning and we have insights into the difficulty. We then become excited (this stage is what I call "catharsis"). [²]. The fear is replaced by excitement. So for a short time the relationship, instead of being fearful, becomes exciting.

Each particular state of mind has its own emotional dynamics, which are the emotional factors that maintain the psychological mood and symptoms of that state of mind. Excitement represents narcissism in vanity mode, coupled with a free flow of vitality or energy. Fear inhibits the flow of vitality.

The key process that creates an obsession is that of imprinting. [4]. Imprinting can occur in the adult just as easily as it occurs in the infant. The infant needs love, and it is this need that causes imprinting to occur. This need presents itself when jealousy, in its self-pity mode, is currently dominant in the baby. The baby emotionally attaches itself to an adult as a response to the self-pity. When the same need occurs in the adult, then in suitable circumstances imprinting can occur.

For the infant, imprinting centres primarily on emotion (together with desire) and the patterns of femininity in the mother and masculinity in the father. Later, as the boy grows up, the mother’s femininity becomes the preferred pattern of beauty in a woman.

In the stage of imprinting, the child will follow the parent around the house. Similarly, the adult man, during the jealousy stage of the abreaction of guilt, may temporarily follow a woman that he admires, or who has given him support. In the adult, the focus of imprinting may be on any or all of three main factors in the person who is the object of interest :

When the jealousy mode of self-pity is particularly intense in a man, then the phenomenon of ‘stalking’ may occur. The same process is visible in some young females through their sexual obsession with and pursuit of rock stars.

Once imprinting has occurred in the adult, then the two emotions of fear and excitement begin to generate the drama of obsession.

1. Fear is present in the adult with regard to a particular situation or kind of relationship.

2. Then an episode of this situation presents itself. The underlying fear helps to generate a mood of jealousy (self-pity mode). I see someone that I like/admire/desire, or even just a photo of that person, and so imprinting occurs.

3. If the underlying fear is intensified, or if the adult does not want to repress negative desires, then the imprinting becomes the basis of an obsession with that object or other person.

4. The adult uses the fear - excitement binary to generate excitement when his fear becomes temporarily intense. So the obsession becomes correspondingly intense too.

5. When the adult no longer wants to be stimulated by the object or other person, the imprinting fades in intensity. Then the excitement fades as well, and the obsession gradually ends.

In general, the more that the object or other person matches the adult's ideals of beauty, character or vitality, the longer the stimulation will last.

As an example, I describe the possible results of viewing glamour, pin-up, and pornography photos or websites. A major factor is my mood at the time of watching such images.

Suppose that I look at some photos of women who interest me, irrespective of whether they are "respectable", naughty, or glamorous. If my mood is positive, then the photos generate only average interest.

If, however, a mood of fear towards sexuality is dominant in me at the time of viewing, then a different result occurs. I become excited by some photos of women that seem sexy and glamorous to me. I have now switched to a focus on narcissism (in vanity mode). I am using excitement to overcome my fear. The excitement is conscious, whilst the fear is subconscious. The intensity of my excitement relates to the intensity of my negative mood. If the photos begin to arouse sexual desire in me, I switch to jealousy (in self-pity mode). If the self-pity is intense, then it leads to an intense focus on particular images of women, and so imprinting occurs. The imprinting indicates what I feel is lacking in my life, and hence what I need in relationships.

Whilst viewing the images, my hatred and fear of sexuality are absent. The hatred is the hate mode of pride. This absence allows the free play of excitement. I imprint onto whatever aspect of female sexuality currently interests me or for which I feel a need : a mother figure, a sexy figure, a supportive figure, an exotic figure, a caring figure, etc. My belief is that I can indulge in sexual excitement without the risk of getting psychologically hurt (which a real relationship entails).

The excitement enables me to by-pass my usual fear and hatred of sexuality. So I switch from jealousy (self-pity mode) to jealousy (love mode). The object of the imprinting is now felt to be glamorous and alluring. I have created an obsession. The intensity of the obsession reflects the intensity of the imprinting.

[¹]. Emotions usually group together in pairs of opposites, or what I call binaries. My general ideas on emotions are described in the three articles on Emotion. See home page for their links. [1]

[²]. My analysis of catharsis and the process of abreaction is given in the third article on Abreaction : Catharsis and Suggestion. [2]

[³]. These three emotions are compound ones, each consisting of two simpler emotions. The factorisation of some emotions is described in the first article on Emotion, in the section Influence of Value. [3]

Credits
To my friend Mike Emmerton in Singapore, for commenting on this article and making some suggestions.